LOVE and MARRIAGE

LOVE and MARRIAGE
A happy marriage helps you live a stress-free life.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Healing Secrets


Healing Secrets

Life is a game in which there are always winners and losers. The secret to winning the game of life is to discover the secrets of living well, which are also the secrets of healing. Without healing, the game of life is over and lost.

Time

Time is a crucial factor in winning the game of life. Most of us live by the clock, and, worse, have the illusion that we must live by the clock. Unfortunately, we all have only 24 hours a day: time is an equalizer of man. Effective time management may help you only get more done within your time frame, but more is not necessarily better. Instead, learn to control your own experience of time--in particular, the experience of timelessness, which is the present moment. The past is gone, the future is unknown, and only the present is real. Learn to slow down and experience that timelessness by focusing on one thing at a time. In that way, you not only create your own rhythm of life but also enhance your acute awareness of time, which is the art of living well. As a result of doing one thing at a time, you will always have time for everything, including time for yourself. 

Attitude

Humans are mortal. As such, most of us have constant worries about getting sick and even thoughts of premature death. Living under the shadow of disease and death may cause hypochondria (vicarious experiencing symptoms of disease) in many individuals. Unfortunately, the disease symptoms are not only real but also debilitating.

Stop worrying about getting a serious illness: getting the disease symptoms does not necessarily mean going to get the disease itself. Instead, learn to decode your body language; it may be revealing some healing secrets to you through those disease symptoms.

Aspirations

Winning the game of life requires aspirations. Discover what you really want out of life. Life must have a purpose and dreams to go with that purpose. Identify your dreams, and pursue them with passion and persistence. 

The greatest asset in life is health. A winner in the game of life cannot do without it. 


Stephen Lau

Monday, August 13, 2018

Meditative Mindfulness for Relaxation


Meditative Mindfulness

The best way to treat myasthenia gravis symptoms, especially the drooping eyes, is complete relaxation of the body, the mind, and, of course, the eyes.

According to studies, meditation can make you live longer. Some big corporate companies are now providing free lessons of meditation to help their staff members to cope with work stress, as well as to enhance their work performance, and to reduce the medical costs due to sickness.

There are many reasons for meditation: relaxation, clarity of mind, and spiritual connection, among others. No matter what the reasons may be, the main focus of meditation is on meditative awarenessmindfulness of what is happening at the present moment, such as breathing, bodily sensations, and mental thoughts. Without this acute meditative awareness or mindfulness, there is no relaxation of the body and the mind, or the spiritual connection to a Higher Being.

Meditation is finding the quiet or stillness between sounds and thoughts and experiences. It is this underlying quietness—so quiet that you can almost hear it—that forms a link between you and your sensations and thoughts. Meditation is all about re-focusing the mind on what is important and what is irrelevant or insignificant. In other words, through awareness, meditation prioritizes and changes perspectives regarding what is happening in life. Essentially, you begin to become aware of your adaptation to cope with the mundane world, such as dealing with attitudes and behaviors, as well as pain and stress. Through clarity of mind, you also begin to know yourself better, such as the reasons for your anger; you may even have spiritual enlightenment, such as perception of the purpose of your existence. In brief, meditation is a mental training of meditative awareness or mindfulness of breathing, physical sensations, and mental thoughts, and the perception of timelessness, focusing only on the present moment or what is “real” at that present moment.

Meditation has its practical application in everyday living for life. Meditation heals both the body and the mind if you can bring all attributes and benefits of meditation to your day-to-day world. 

By training your meditative awareness only to remain present in whatever activity you undertake in real life, you will find yourself right in the center of that activity you are engaging in. In this way, you will be doing your very best, and meanwhile getting the greatest satisfaction from doing so.

To illustrate, say, you are doing a mundane everyday chore, such as washing the dishes or taking out the trash; you may not like what you are doing, but you are doing it anyway just because you have to. If you have had training in meditation, you will know how to keep uninvited thoughts to a minimum while you are doing the dishes or taking out the trash, and thus enabling you to be in the center of what you are experiencing and to do it without distraction. A mind trained in meditation leads to a state of stillness that can be maintained no matter what you do, or what is happening around you. This is the power of meditation.

The principles of meditation can be applied to any non-meditating part of your everyday life, such as walking.

As you begin walking, let go of thoughts of the outside world.

Focus on your breathing: listen to the relaxed sound of your breathing in and breathing out.

Make your walk slow and purposeful.

As you walk, observe each step that you make. Notice all the physical sensations of your feet, as well as the way your arms swing back and forth, brushing against your body.

If uninvited thoughts come, re-focus your awareness on your breathing and physical sensations.

In this way, you can turn any everyday activity into meditative nature in order to enhance your awareness and clarity of mind, which can be life transforming.  Not only your senses come to life, but also you see how things change from moment to moment, so you have a better understanding of what is important and what is “real” in your life. Seeing things in perspective will help you let go of things you found most difficult to let go in the past.

Practice meditative awareness in your everyday activities in order to enhance your self-healing power of the body and the mind.

Stephen Lau
Copyright ©  by Stephen Lau

Monday, August 6, 2018

The Wisdom of Self-Acceptance

Self-Acceptance is anti-depression. If you cannot accept the reality that you have an autoimmune disease, you may feel distressed and depressed.

In addition, if you cannot accept yourself for who you are, you cannot love yourself, and not loving yourself is always the beginning of depression.

In a general sense, self-esteem is the positive or negative evaluative perception of self.  It is a rating of self based on a partial assessment of current and/or past traits. Many mental health professionals claim that achieving higher self-esteem is the keystone of good mental health, in particular, in avoiding depression; such claims, however, are dubious at best.

Low self-esteem is self-doubt, often expressed in not asserting oneself in public or workplace, and not pushing past one’s comfort zones.

To love yourself is self-acceptance, which is accepting who and what you really are—and not who and what you wish you were (that is, your ego-self). It should also be pointed out that “loving yourself” and “loving your ego-self” are not quite the same. The former is loving yourself for who you really are, despite all your imperfections; the latter involves loving or craving to be the person you wish you were. “Loving yourself” means you can love others as well because they are not very different from you in that they, too, are as imperfect as you are. On the other hand, “loving your ego-self” means it is very difficult to love others because you want to distinguish and separate yourself from others; accordingly, others must somehow satisfy your ego first before you can love them. That explains why if you have a big ego-self, you cannot easily and readily love others.

The bottom line: if you can accept yourself as who and what you are, then it may become much easier for you to accept and love others as who and what they are. The absence of love is a mindset for depression.

Stephen Lau     
Copyright© by Stephen Lau